My Dear Miss Austen

Jane Austen.
No author's name makes my heart swell quite like hers.
I had read her books and watched the movie adaptations for many years. (I believe there is an LDS based one. But, that I have not seen. I fear it will just butcher Austen's creativity and make me angry.)
Pride and Prejudice with Kiera Knightely made in 2005 is my favorite. I implore you to watch it and not fall in love.

Last year at Barnes and Noble they were selling a leather bound gold leafed compilation of her novels : Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, Mansfield Park, Emma, Northanger Abbey and Persuasion. I decided it was time to buy a shelf worthy Austen, instead of the soft cover books I had owned. It sits on my cedar chest, all prim and proper, and I'm afraid if I read out of it, pages will rip, or I will spill my drink, etc. Today I thought... if my Grandma had had this book (she was a Jane Austen fan also) and she had passed it down to me when she died.. would I have rather gotten it ripped and stained and dog eared? Or prim and proper, knowing her tears had never fell on the words, and her fingers had never feverishly thumbed through the pages? I without a doubt would have loved it more tattered to pieces. The things I do have of hers make me feel her around me. Being in the company of something she loved, makes me feel like me and that item can stick it out together. That we have something in common. That we both know what it is to be loved by her. Silly, I know. But, if you didn't know my Grandma, you wouldn't understand that her sweet, kind soul was everywhere. In everything she touched, everyone she touched. She loved so hard. Just thinking about her makes me feel so grateful that I even got the oppurtunity to know someone like that, talk about be loved by her. Alas, I have decided to use this book. To love this book. To love it as hard as Gram would have.

I watched The Jane Austen Book Club last night for the first time. Usually when it comes to Jane I prefer her novels adapted to movies, not movies about her. Becoming Jane was so sad. I'm aware it was a biography and that real life works out in such different ways than novels. But, knowing that the woman who has idealized romance for me never married makes my heart ache. I decided to give this movie a try though since it was about other women reading her books in a book club. (Which I would so love to do!) Surprisingly enough, it was a good movie. It wasn't moving, it didn't touch the depths of my soul. But, it was nice to be in the company of women who (or at least were acting to) love Jane as much as I do. I borrowed the movie from the library, which is where I spend way too much of my time and will definitely be purchasing it. It is worth owning.

"If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." - Mr. Darcy, Pride & Prejudice, Movie Adaptation, 2005